Worst-Case Wednesday: The College Roommate From Hell

We’re halfway through Summer. And for those of you prepping to head off to college… well, take it from me, you might need this advice.

The first day of school may have been a little scary when you were younger, but you can handle anything now, right? Bad news: if you just graduated from high school, you’re not out of the woods yet. Your freshman year in college is one of the biggest transitions of all, and one of the first challenges you’ll be facing is getting along with your roommate.

Good thing The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: College has some hints, tips, and tricks in case it’s not working out between you two.

Cover foul odors: Burn incense or spray air freshener to mask your roommate’s scent.

Secure your possessions in locked storage containers: To discourage theft or misuse of your belongings, lock as much as possible in safes, military-issue foor lockers, trunks, and other lockable storage containers. Long, flat containers can be placed under your bed for further protection.

Divide the room in half: Draw a line down the center of the room to designate four own private space. Remember that you’ll have to share the door.

Gather long-unwashed clothes into a pile: If the pile of dirty clothes isn’t remedied after a week, transfer the pile to trash bags and seal tightly to eliminate odors. If the bags remain after several weeks, put them in the trash.

Misalign the satellite dish: Disrupt the constant blare of sporting events by redirecting your roommate’s satellite dish.

Buy your roommate concert tickets: If your roommate never leaves the room, buy him a ticket to an all-day concert, a movie, or a sporting event. Do not ask your roommate if he wants to go; just purchase the ticket—the farther away the event, the better.

Be Aware: If you notice any of the following in your room, you may have a nightmare roommate:

– Giant speakers

– Lack of toiletries

– Machete

– More than 15 stuffed animals