Worst-Case Wednesday: How To Brew A Magic Potion
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Do you spend most of your time on Pottermore trying to brew the perfect potion? It's a tricky business, but you know you can do it. Or maybe you're already a potion-making whiz, in which case you're ready to move beyond the computer screen and into making them in real life. If that's true, have we got the guide for you! Thanks to The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook: Paranormal Edition, you can now learn how to brew your own magic potion.
1. Set an appropriate mood. Dress in a comfortable robe and light candles. Establish an ongoing rhythm of deep, controlled breaths while meditating upon a mantra–whether "Double, double toil and trouble," "Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling," or anything else that focuses your mental energy upon a rhythmic beat–in order to clear mundane, non-magical thoughts from your mind.
2. Prep your ingredients. Depending on the ingredients and the recipe, you may need to prepare the component elements of your potion by chopping, dicing, grinding, deboning, blessing, or cursing various items. Prepare these items and arrange them in their correct measure in small bowls close to your cooking area to ensure their smooth combination later.
3. Preheat your cauldron. Place your 20-quart metal cauldron over an open flame or gas burner set to high. Heat the cauldron until just smoking. Season it with several dashes of the essential oil specified in your recipe. Wait for the green smoke to recede before proceeding.
4. Add potion base. Pour seven quarts of the liquid or liquid that will form the base of your potion, combining water, broths, tinctures, or or tears; stir. Reduce heat to simmer.
5. Add ingredients. Add the remaining wet and dry ingredients, one at a time. Double-check each measurement, for even a small error can result in a drastic change of effect.
6. Walk in a circle. As you continue to add ingredients and stir, move clockwise with even steps around the cauldron (if heating over an open flame) or in a semicircle at the edge of the stove (if preparing at home).
7. Chant desired effect. Speak aloud the effect this potion is supposed to have when completed.
8. Stir. Combine the ingredients by stirring it with a long-handled spoon.
9. Cool and serve.
BE AWARE
- If no cauldron is available, it is permissible to substitute a cast-iron stockpot of equal volume.
- Many potions call for herbs, which will act more effectively in the potion if the essential oils have been extracted. Soak the herb or root in one or two inches of grapeseed or almond oil in a jar for seven days. Use the resulting herb-infused oil for potion brewing.
