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Neil Gaiman's hair is almost as magical as his writing. That's why we here at Quirk (who are BIG fans of Gaiman and his whimsical locks) have dedicated this blog post to Gaiman's hair. But wait! We've taken it one step further by pairing the many moods of Neil Gaiman's hair with a book.

It’s hard to meet someone in Wonderland. The bar scene is practically non-existent, and good luck meeting someone at a tea party or an outdoor croquet game. Luckily, the new Mirrer dating app makes finding a partner as easy as falling down a rabbit hole. Check out these attractive profiles:

Once upon a morning weary, while I pondered, bleak and bleary,

Over where a quaint and curious sunny spot of sunlight sat—

    While I noodled, nearly nodding, suddenly there came a stomping,

As my owner rudely hopping, galomping all across the mat.

“’I am leaving,” she uttered, “To get my hair done at Chez LePhatt—

            Do be a gentle pussy cat.”

If we learned anything while writing highschool essays it’s that anything can be made better with a trip to the thesaurus. If you disagree all we need you to do is answer this simple question — would you rather have a great or jumbo time at a party?

Shhhhh. Don’t say anything. We know the answer.

Which is why we decided to graciously lend some of our favorite books a helping hand and improve upon their more popular lines. By, of course, using the thesaurus. Please enjoy the following new and improved classics and send us your own with the hashtag #thesaurusabook.

[Movie still from Romeo + Juliet, 20th Century Fox & Bazmark Films]

Tomorrow marks that dreaded date, Friday the 13^th—a day where you may want to call in sick in order to avoid bad luck. But have no fear! Even if you accidentally trip or butt-dial an ex, your luck won’t be as bad as the luck of the characters we list below. Schadenfreude at work!

Wednesday, 8pm. Unitarian Church basement.

FRANKENSTEIN: Well, it looks like everyone who’s going to show up is here. Might as well get started. Hello, all. My name is Frankenstein, but you can all call me Frank. This coming Friday is the 13th, so if you are feeling particularly misunderstood, don't hesitate to speak up. Would anyone like to begin with something to share?