Perfect Holiday Gifts for the Villain in Your Life
Header Image by ErikaWittlieb from Pixabay
Whether it's your auntie, teacher, hairdresser, or librarian, we've all got a villain or two in our lives. But even the worst of them deserves a little festive cheer. So, we've broken down the best holiday gifts for your favorite rotten apples. And if none of these hit the mark, then be sure to check out Quirk's holiday gift guide for more great ideas!
For the Belsnickels in your life
Netflix's Christmas Chronicles 2 introduced us to a new kind of holiday villain: the pouty, dramatic, and oft childish Belsnickel. In his defense, he reminded us of our own angsty teenage years when everything seemed just plain unfair. So, for the Belsnickel in your life, we recommend the gift of ownership. Put them in charge of something important like your holiday meal or an evening's activities. Sure, the outcome may be absolutely insufferable, but they will appreciate the opportunity to have things their way, if only for one day.
For the Moff Gideons in your life
What can one give the Moff Gideons of their life? This can be a challenge, to be sure. Moff Gideons are inherently mysterious, quiet, brooding. You may never know exactly what they're thinking, however, if The Mandalorian has shown us anything, it's that brooding types can also have a sensitive side. While it’s a little on the nose, we recommend a Grogu plush toy to melt that icy exterior.
For the Dwight Schrutes in your life
Dwight Schrute is the ultimate frenemy; a personality type we've all come across at one time or another. When shopping for the perfect gift, you need to walk a careful line: something that says 'I appreciate your existence in the world' but doesn't assume any sort of intimacy. These gifts should be specialized to the frenemy in your life, but think along the lines of paperclips, Chapstick, and other daily, yet emotionless essentials. Oh, have you considered bulk toilet paper?
For the Grinches in your life
To be honest, there may be no saving this villain. It seems every year, they can't help but tell you how much they hate the holiday season—how it's the putrid offspring of human consumerism. Yuck. We get it, Grinch, you eat two bowls of Honey Nut Humbug for breakfast. So, for this personality type, we recommend keeping it short and sweet: happy hour at their favorite restaurant between the months of January and October.
For the Regina Georges in your life
Passive-aggressive, plain aggressive, popular, and frightening: how does one begin to shop for the Regina George personality type? To be honest, there's nothing you can gift them they likely don't already own. And even if they don't, their judgment will begin before they've even begun unwrapping it. For this villain, we don't recommend thinking very hard. What's more important is you and your own self-care after they've inevitably given you a compliment that was somehow not a compliment at all.
J. B. Kish
J. B. Kish grew up in the American Southwest and spent most of his childhood concocting strange stories with spooky monsters. Now, he lives in the Pacific Northwest and has begun publishing those childhood nightmares for others. He is the author of two novels, including the paranormal thriller A Wall for Teeth and Stingers, which takes place in both Arizona and Oregon. He has the same birthday as Captain Kathryn Janeway, which is a thing he takes very seriously. Probably too seriously.
