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This hilarious coloring/activity book skewers the world of fashion with dozens of satirical challenges:

• Pick a stay-true color for Maddy’s lips!
• Dress Tatiana using the colors of seduction!
• Draw a huge engagement ring for Fiona’s finger!
• Give Nora a new post–plastic-surgery face!
• Help Sarah finish getting dressed so she can make you breakfast!

Color Me Fierce! invites readers to connect the dots, color by number, design overpriced outfits, conceal embarrassingly hairy legs, eliminate awkward weight, and more. Best of all, the book includes six glamorous crayons in the hottest fall colors: Nightmare Blue, Red Haute, Chartreuse, Black Is the New Black, Gold-Digger Yellow, and Positively Pink. Color Me Fierce! is the perfect gift for anyone who loves the world of fashion—and everyone who loathes it.

NIKE DESIS is an artist living in Philadelphia.

Forget boring mojitos, put down that tired cosmopolitan, and stop sipping that ridiculous appletini! It’s time to embrace Old Man Drinks-the cocktails your grandfather would remember from his nights on the town, way back during the Eisenhower administration. Here you’ll find histories and recipes for Old-Fashioneds, Sidecars, Clover Clubs, Rusty Nails, Hot Toddys, Monte Carlos, and more than 60 other vintage cocktails. Accompanying the text are evocative black-and-white photographs of real old men enjoying their beverages of choice-and dispensing such timeless words of wisdom as “I’m gonna die some day, so I may as well drink” and “I’ve taken an involuntary vow of celibacy.” Pull up a stool, break out the pickled eggs, and get ready for a round of Old Man Drinks!

ROBERT SCHNAKENBERG is the author of The Encyclopedia Shatnerica (Quirk, 2008), Christopher Walken A to Z (Quirk, 2008), and other nonfi ction books. He lives in Brooklyn.

Forget Yinglish. Put aside Franglais. It’s time to brush up on Spanglish—the Latino Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of languages that’s sweeping the nation!

In Pardon My Spanglish, stand-up comic Bill Santiago chronicles the quintessentially American joys of his mother tongue: the quirky, often hilarious fusion of Latino Spanish and American English spoken everywhere from the barrio to the local mall.

Readers will learn:
• The pseudo-syntax of Spanglish (as observed by a comedian with no formal training in
linguistics whatsoever)
• The Top Ten Best Things About Spanglish (#7: Gives you a competitive edge in Spanglish Scrabble)
• Why People en Español is not simply called Gente
• Classic gaffes every Spanglish-speaking gringo should avoid (“Estoy embarasado” does not mean you’re embarrassed—it means you’re pregnant)

Full of indispensable tips and witty observations, Pardon My Spanglish is a hilarious celebration of Latino culture.

BILL SANTIAGO is a stand-up comedian who debuted nationally on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend and appears regularly on The Late Show with Conan O’Brien. He lives in New York City.

The Book Where You’re the Star!
 
Every scene in Penis Pokey has one thing missing—and you have to complete the picture. Are you up to the challenge?

Of all the strange books Quirk has published, few are stranger than Penis Pokey-the illustrated board book with a large die-cut hole in its center. Every page features a full-color illustration with one thing (a banana, a hot dog, a sea serpent) missing-and male readers are challenged to complete the picture.

Now Quirk is raising the bar even higher with the Penis Pokey Activity Book. Here are all-new pokey illustrations, a dry-erase marker, and a host of challenging new activities-including a maze, a connect the-dots, complete-the-pictures, and more. If you loved the original Penis Pokey, the all-new Penis Pokey Activity Book will take your breath away!

CHRISTOPHER BEHRENS’ previous book, Penis Pokey (Quirk, 2004), was featured in The Village Voice, The Advocate, Time Out NY, Boing Boing, and countless other websites. He lives in California.