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Looking for more villains like these? Check out The Legion of Regrettable Supervillains or The League of Regrettable Sidekicks by Jon Morris!

The best villains are the ones that are truly scary. The bad guys who make us quake in our boots, who leave us terrified and truly convinced that becoming their enemy would be the worst possible scenario. Take Amy in Gone Girl, a woman who isn’t at all physically threatening, but whose meticulous scheming and total lack of a conscience make her utterly terrifying. Or consider Thanos, the recent big bad of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There’s a villain who may be bright purple, but who is physically intimidating and emotionally unperturbed by wiping out half the living things in the universe in a single snap.

These are the villains that are true nightmare fodder, that all other villains aspire to emulate. Of course, there are also the truly sympathetic villains — the cool kids, the guys who may want to raise hell, but are so charming that we’d probably just let them do it. And then…there are these guys. The ones who may dream of being true villains, but who barely make it out of laughing stock level who couldn’t make a chihuahua tremble if they tried.

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New to the group? Meet the monsters.

Escape Room is the latest movie to take an innocuous pastime and turn it into a horror film (see also Truth or Dare). While escape rooms are horror-based to begin with—otherwise, there would be no reason to, y’know, escape—it is worth imagining what harmless life event could next be mined for horror fodder.

Happy birthday, Eddie Redmayne! We’re obsessed with the fact that you keep starring in literary adaptations. We like to imagine you sitting on set with the original novel – dog eared and filled with marginalia. In honor of your special day, we’re diving into every single literary adaptation that bares your name. Even the rumored ones.

Photo by Gabby K from Pexels

Gordon Ramsay has made a name for himself as a chef who does not hide his displeasure. Through Boiling Point, the UK and American versions of Kitchen Nightmares, Hell’s Kitchen, Master Chef—even that one time he played a Smurf—Ramsay has been direct, unapologetic and often very, very loud about insulting food and those who prepare it if either fall below his standard. But what if he turned his attention from food to books? How might Ramsay feel about classics of modern literature?

It’s National Science Fiction Day and in a genre inundated with the male perspective, we’ve decided to do something a little different. Today we’re showcasing all of our favorite sci-fi novels – and wouldn’t you know it, they’re all written by women. Settle in for a dark and stormy STEM-filled night, friends.