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I live within a two-hour drive of Hershey, PA. This means I am inundated with ads for “Chocolate-Covered February.” So much so that one year, my husband and I drove to the Chocolate Spa only to learn its cocoa facials and buttercream manipedis are booked months in advance.

So if you’re looking to a get a chocolate fix this February and you can’t get in the door for a Whipped Cocoa Bath or Chocolate Sugar Scrub, might I suggest you indulge in one of the books, films, shows, or comics below.

So you still don’t have anything to give your sweetheart for Cupid’s birthday? No problem. You can make the perfect gift in no time. Just start flexing your fingers…

And get crafting!

Everyone loves receiving flowers, but the gesture can get lost in the resulting scurry for a vase (do you even own a vase?), filling it with water (tap or filter?), and then placing it in the perfect spot (just put it down already!). Or you could just make a bouquet out of fluffy, boingy pom-poms, like the one from Pom-Poms! 25 Awesomely Fluffy Projects.

Spray the poms with a little perfume so they smell as fragrant as your lover’s favorite bloom!

By now your honey probably thinks you forgot about Valentine’s Day. Which makes it the perfect moment to launch your snuggle attack! But first, you might need to sweet-talk your way out of the doghouse. And who can say no to a lovingly handcrafted cocktail?

Since you’re celebrating your sweetheart and your joint cuddles, champagne is clearly the way to go. The Bloody Good Punch from Winter Cocktails: Mulled Ciders, Hot Toddies, Punches, Pitchers, and Cocktail Party Snacks will put your darling in a bubbly, nuzzly mood. Also, pink!

(image via flickr)

February 14^th: A day of heart-shaped chocolate boxes, naked archer babies with wings, and linguistic pedantry. Yes! Some people—no names named—live to gleefully gloat their pronunciatorial prowess any time some unfortunate, uninformed soul dares to let slip the word “Valentimes.”

To which I say: listen up, you whatever-the-February-equivalent-of-Grinches-is! You need to stop. No, not because correcting people is cruel (for Cupid’s sake, all of this holiday is cruel), but because it’s time—Valentime—for a change.

Controversial, I know. But I brought charts. Here are five rock-solid reasons we need to rename this holiday already.