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Everyone from Buzzfeed to the JK Rowling’s official website, Pottermore, offers quizzes that allow voracious readers of the Harry Potter series to try to guess which of the four Hogswart Houses they would be sorted into. As all Potter fans know, Harry and most of his friends are members of Gryffindor, the house known for its scarlet and gold lion banners, and as the house of the bravest Hogwarts students. But the other houses have proud histories as well: Ravenclaw, which takes the intellectually curious, Hufflepuff of the kind and hard-working, and Slytherin for the sly and ambitious. All of the houses have their own quirks and culture and all attract certain types of students.

In watching the complicated and three-dimensional characters on Game of Thrones, it can be interesting to think which houses the various characters would be sorted into by the reliable Hogwarts sorting hat (which looks into each student and decides where they best fit). After all, in the world of Westeros, alliances between houses are far more serious and deadly than those regarding the Hogwarts House Cup. Yet certain characters do seem to be obvious choices for particular houses – and their Quidditch matches would definitely have a certain ferocity!

The Lannister Twins: Slytherin

Aliens invading earth has been a classic sci-fi theme since the very beginning of the genre. There have been countless books, movies, and television shows that depict everything from a peaceful cohabitation (Star Trek, Mass Effect), to living in secret among us (I am Number Four, Roswell), and the almost total annihilation or rule of Earth (Independence Day, V, War of the Worlds). And with Independence Day: Resurgence arriving in theaters this Friday, alien invasions are back, front and center, in the media.

But what would we really do if we were suddenly invaded by an alien race, hostile or not? The following books provide good advice and strategies or words of warning to help identify, prevent, and defeat a possible invasion of Earth.

While the Kardashians might appear too caught up in perfectly poised selfies and selling lipstick to concentrate on anything beyond themselves, they are able to throw shade with the best of them. So for today’s episode of reality television meets literature, the stars of Keeping Up With the Kardashians recommend Klassic books (and subtle lifestyle changes) to one another.

Hollywood executives constantly seem to be looking for the next amazing bestseller to turn into a massive blockbuster movie (this last year has seen success in everything from comic books like Deadpool and Marvel’s Civil War, to popular thrillers like Gone Girl.)  Yet when it comes to reality TV, the background of carefully composed reality shows have provided plenty of narratives for novel plotlines – The Hunger Games was famously influenced by Survivor, while The Bachelor provides a wry backbone for Curtis Sittenfeld’s Eligible.  Yet interestingly, it has been a bit of a one-way relationship – so in the interest of balance, here are some books which could provide fodder to inspire interesting, and thoughtful, reality shows.

Agatha Christie’s mystery novels

The idea of the quirky detective solving mysteries using his or her special skills (math, writing, understanding of human nature) is a well-known trope of fictional television procedurals.  But two of the original quirky detectives were Agatha Christie’s best known sleuths: Belgian private detective Hercule Poirot, who used his little grey cells to ponder human nature, and Miss Marple, who used her in-depth knowledge of her village life in England’s rural St. Mary Mead to draw parallels with those she met on her various adventures.  Both of these super sleuths solve mysteries not through examining of physical evidence (they’re the anti-CSI), but through their understanding of personality types and character.   

What better way to prove their sleuthing ability than to send Poirot and Marple out to solve real crimes?  Both love to travel, so there would be no shortage of interesting cases; if their claims to be able to solve mysteries simply by talking to people and learning about their character is true, this reality show could include them simply interviewing suspects – and of course, the dénouement when all interested parties are gathered to hear the solution.  Agatha Christie novels are famous for having endings which are impossible to predict – if audiences are stymied by plot twists in Serial or The Jinx, they’ll love endlessly debating the identity of the killers online, pitting their own brains against the masters, and trying to figure out “whodunit.”

Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird

Harper Lee’s coming of age tale focuses on one of the most famous and popular lawyers of all time, Atticus Finch. Finch, a single father living in small-town Alabama, is appointed to defend local resident Tom Robinson from criminal charges with racist undertones, while helping his two children, Jem and Scout, adjust to adulthood and define their own sense of right and wrong.  Atticus has long been admired as the height of principled criminal defence and legal protection of civil rights; these are subjects which have sparked debate and discussion in the era of #BlackLivesMatter.  How would such a weighty novel, which provides social commentary, be able to provide fodder for reality television?  Atticus Finch, superstar attorney, would be able to defend those unjustly accused of various crimes – while providing a complete perspective of his family life with two opinionated teenaged children.  For anyone who felt devastated to leave the world of Maycomb after the trial (and novel) ended, this is a reality TV series which would be like revisiting a childhood friend.

Stephen King’s The Shining

King’s most popular novel is famed not only for its volatile lead character, alcoholic hotel caretaker Jack Torrance, but the sense of menace in the remote, near-deserted Overlook Hotel, where Jack and his family are staying for the winter.  And as Jack’s young son Danny soon realises, the hotel itself has a distinct personality – and its own secrets.  Plenty of the novel’s ghosts come from the Overlook’s history and while The Shining uses these characters in service of a wrenching thematic exploration of addiction and family life, the idea of an abandoned winter hotel is certainly an interesting and chilling idea for a real life exploration.

Hotels, by their nature, encompass a narrow slice of so many lives – and many famous hotels claim their own ghosts and hauntings.  The feeling of The Shining, of isolation in a gaping structure, would certainly provide a fascinating atmosphere for a reality TV show.  Imagine a small, deserted, haunted hotel attempting to rebuild their business while dealing with a legacy of resident ghosts.  Obviously the staff would have to include a psychic (although hopefully they wouldn’t communicate with any young twin girls) – producing a show attracting those fascinated by the lovely hotel properties and exotic travel, but also interested in King’s heavy, foreboding atmosphere translated to a real locale.

Paula Hawkins’ Girl on a Train

One of the most-lauded examples of the revival of psychological thrillers, Girl on a Train concerns commuter Rachel.  Every day, she takes the same trains into London city centre in the morning and out again in the evening, stopping at the same places, seeing the same view.  Then, one day, when into her favourite home overlooking the train tracks, Rachel witnesses a murder.  To explain the murder itself and its connection to Rachel would be an unfair spoiler, but the book is aware of fundamental truth: everyone loves to sneak a peek into other people’s homes and lives.

The reality TV version of Girl on a Train would be a contrast between the lives of those who lives near the train tracks and their imagined lives.  Commuters would be asked to describe the imagined lives of those living near the bus, train and driving routes and then audiences could meet the actual residents – and glance into their real lives.  It seems unlikely that any of these residents would have as dramatic lives as those Rachel glimpses, but this reality series could explore the gaps between the idyllic lives that we often envision our friends and family to lead versus the realities of their experiences.  In the era of a Pinterest-perfect social media life, the gap between appearance and reality is a fascinating reality to explore.

In need of a pen name, but lacking inspiration? Take advice inspired by someone whose pen name is so good, you may not have realized it wasn’t his given name—George Orwell. Before the author of 1984 became George Orwell, he was Eric Blair. Although no one knows for sure how Eric chose his pen name, these reasons may help you pick yours.

Read on, comrades.

Samwise Gamgee is a man of many desirable traits. He’s courageous, resourceful, logical, and not to mention a loyal friend. But when he isn’t out helping Frodo save the world, you may find that Sam is a man of simplicity. And we have a feeling that Sam would know how to vacation in style. If you’re looking to kick back on vacation like Sam, rent a little bungalow. Trust us, Sam would totally stay in a quiet little one-story house by the shore, and he’d make sure to take a few essentials with him. Use these tips inspired by our favorite hobbit for your best vacation yet.

Potatoes and homegrown herbs and spices

Po-tay-toes. Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew. When stocking your beach bungalow, make sure you pick up a decent selection of potatoes. For real, what can’t they do? What can’t they be? The beauty of a quiet beach house is that you can stay in and cook your own meals if you wish to do so, and potatoes provide an endless amount of possibilities! As a gardener, Sam would also have a whole slew of homegrown herbs and spices, and so should you.

Frying pan

Keeping in line with food related items, the frying pan is crucial to your vacation needs, especially if your rented space isn’t already stocked with one. We think Sam would bring his own, anyway. It’s a comfort of home. To a foodie, the cooking utensil is every bit as important as the actual food. Plus, if all hell breaks loose, you can use your frying pan as a weapon like Sam did in Balin’s Tomb.

Pipe and pipe weed

Picture it. Hairy feet in the sand, book in lap, smoking a pipe, the waves whooshing back at low tide. Nothing else. This is your entire world, if only for a short while. Don’t worry if you aren’t a pipe smoker. Use it as decoration on a shelf in the main room of your bungalow. It adds a touch of elegance, if you will.

Bug repellent

Bug bites can wreck an otherwise perfect vacation. Being itchy is the worst. And if you’re anything like Sam, bugs are the ultimate foe, and spiders are the greatest evil of all. They might be even worse than Sauron. Avoid the bites by simply spraying yourself with repellent before heading outside. Douse yourself in it if necessary, and then keep it close by just in case. Be gone, spiders and bugs! You are not welcome here.

Access to a nearby buffet

Although Sam would probably stay in a good portion of the time, access to an all-day buffet would make his vacation absolutely perfect. Make sure your vacation spot is located close to a buffet so you can have breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper. Can’t miss those. Actually, do 24-hour buffets exist? Are those a thing? If so, plan your vacation location around that.

Your best friend

If you’re half as kind and loyal as Sam, you have a best friend who would love to come stay with you in your little bungalow by the shore. You can cook and read together, swim in the ocean, and have long talks at night while drinking tea and watching the stars. Friends like these are hard to come by, but once you find that person, your vacation is their vacation. Only they will say, “I can’t carry it for you…but I can carry you.” A friend is the greatest essential of all.