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Zombies represent some of our scariest dreams—dying, destruction, invasion, an overall death of society as we know it. They are our collective nightmare. We fear them but we are obsessed with them because they make us question what we would do at the end of the world. Would we step up to the plate and come out guns blazing or would we cower and hide in our basement to try to wait it out? We consume zombie-themed media in the hopes we’ll find inspiration for our inevitable demise in the zombiepocalypse. Though this list could’ve been forever long, the following are some of the best when it comes to undead-ass-kicking inspiration.

It’s hard to meet someone in Wonderland. The bar scene is practically non-existent, and good luck meeting someone at a tea party or an outdoor croquet game. Luckily, the new Mirrer dating app makes finding a partner as easy as falling down a rabbit hole. Check out these attractive profiles:

Magic beans. Crystal shards. Enchanted acorns. Dice.

When one travels through the woods on an epic quest, one has the occasion to carry all manner of tiny trinkets and magical items. To stow them you’ll need something secure but close at hand. A handmade belt pouch is the perfect accessory to keep your items safe (and secret, as the case may be). This pouch has a rough-hewn handmade look to it, so each one you make will be a little bit different. Here’s how to make your own.

[Movie still from Independence Day, 20th Century Fox]

We have seen fictional presidents do everything from single-handedly defeating terrorists to saving the world from aliens, but rarely do we get to witness the one act they all must have performed at some point — their inauguration speech.

Once upon a morning weary, while I pondered, bleak and bleary,

Over where a quaint and curious sunny spot of sunlight sat—

    While I noodled, nearly nodding, suddenly there came a stomping,

As my owner rudely hopping, galomping all across the mat.

“’I am leaving,” she uttered, “To get my hair done at Chez LePhatt—

            Do be a gentle pussy cat.”

If we learned anything while writing highschool essays it’s that anything can be made better with a trip to the thesaurus. If you disagree all we need you to do is answer this simple question — would you rather have a great or jumbo time at a party?

Shhhhh. Don’t say anything. We know the answer.

Which is why we decided to graciously lend some of our favorite books a helping hand and improve upon their more popular lines. By, of course, using the thesaurus. Please enjoy the following new and improved classics and send us your own with the hashtag #thesaurusabook.