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We had a ton of fun celebrating our dads last week for Father's Day…and it also brought out a ton of Dad jokes. After all, one of the great joys of being a parent is being able to make a child cringe, especially when it comes to cheesy jokes. Dad jokes are a staple of pop culture, as fathers in films, books, and TV strive to out-do each other when it comes to corny one liners and groan-inducing puns. And of course, while we may roll our eyes and shake our heads at them, everyone loves a dad who knows how to crack that joke at the perfect time.

It’s almost our favorite day of the entire year: Summer Solstice. The days have been getting blissfully longer, bringing us prime reading time in those post-work hours. And now it’s here! The longest day of the year! Celebrate those extra minutes of sunshine with these extra short – extra incredible – novels. Because the longest day of the year calls for your shortest read of the year.

We’ve all been there. It’s summer. The weather is finally warming up and your long-awaited vacation has just kicked off.  But then, of course, something kind of spooky happens. Maybe the cruise bartender has a sinister scar running down his face. Maybe the cabin you rented suddenly feels a little too secluded. Or perhaps you just ran out of gas on a long and desolate highway. And then someone finally says it: “This is totally how a scary movie would start!” Luckily for you, most vacations don’t play out like a horror film. But if you’re still in the mood for a scare in your downtime, you can always bring some along with you. Here are our top recommendations for scary novels to bring on your upcoming summer vacation.

Chris Evans shares a birthday with our favorite 90s detectives: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. (Happy birthday, everyone!) And yes, we did say “detectives.” Reach back into the recesses of your nostalgic brains and dream. Working with NASA on the shuttle program. Total access to the Navy. Solving crimes by dinnertime.

Nancy Drew was an iconic teen sleuth who solved mysteries involving clocks and staircases all while driving a hip blue convertible. Ever wonder what the original Nancy Drew would be like in today’s world? Yes, there is a Nancy Drew movie out right now, but ever wonder how the original character — the one whose stories are bound in a yellow spine – would handle today’s world?

Since the OGND (original gangster Nancy Drew) first appeared as a literary icon, it’s no longer a mystery if suddenly the person on the other end of the phone hangs up. There’s no more calling the phone company to track down a number. There’s no element of surprise anymore when one answers the phone. With the advent of *69, redial, caller ID and phones that flash your friend’s face on your screen when they call, we have lost any element of surprise or mystery when a phone rings. Answering phones and sudden hang-ups are no longer a clandestine mission, anymore than they are aggravating.

Here are some other instances that might trip up the OGND up in today’s world:

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Dating

First dates are no longer mysterious when there is Tindr, Bumble and J-Date. Not only would Nancy not have to sniff out her dream date from a slew of restaurant goers, she'd know what he looks like from his online profile! On top of that, she wouldn’t have to give side-eye or twist her mouth wondering his backstory because she already stalked him on Facebook. For these reasons alone the OGND might stay perpetually single today. Unless, of course she finds the one guy who is a serial killer, and he didn’t add that to his profile. Then her dating life would get interesting…
 

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Friends

Remember the time when you would sit by a landline phone waiting for your friend to call you back because she had to answer her call waiting? Or maybe you and your BFF got in a fight and it was a battle of who was going to call who first? Or you were waiting for the phone to ring to confirm plans to go to the mall? Yeah, the only waiting Nancy would do these days is waiting to see those 3 dots pop up when your friend is texting you back… but either forgot what he or she wanted to say…or forgot to hit send. Plus, if they just ghost you without turning off the "read" message, well, it won’t be a mystery if Nance stops talking to you, now will it? To the OGND, these high-tech friends would just be annoyances, like mosquitoes at a barbecue rather than intriguing. She won’t be uncovering something salacious and sinister in this mind-boggling episode.
 

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Mysteries

Since you can DVR, or binge on Netflix and Amazon, plus fast-forward through any show and movie, mysteries are well…no longer a mystery. Want to know who dunnit? Fast-forward to the end. Back OGND’s time videotape had not been invented yet. If she wanted to watch a mystery after a day of solving mysteries, she would have to sit through the whole show or movie. It’s not very relaxing to take work home with you – but to each their own. None of this fast-forward to the end nonsense. Nowadays she would get bored and fast. And being the top-notch detective that she is, she would know the perp in a Law and Order: SVU episode by the end of the cold open. Bo-ring.

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Food

The mystery of “What is in this dish?” is no longer a mystery. Since there are so many folks with food allergies these days, ingredients are either listed on the menu or the wait staff can rattle them off to you. “Is that sherry I taste in this onion soup?” The OGND would once wonder while at a relaxing dinner with her father — is now replaced by a harried waiter or waitress overhearing this as they walked by their table. Quickly, he would pivot back to Nancy and immediately ask if she was allergic. Nance wouldn’t have to leave the restaurant ever wondering what made the food taste so darn good. That secret is loooong gone.

In summation, the original Nancy Drew would be awfully bored and not challenged in the least in this new world. Every possible ounce of a mystery can now be solved in Act One or in less than ten minutes.

 Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay

With Late Night starring Emma Thompson and Mindy Kaling opening this weekend the whole nation is asking itself one question. Wouldn’t it be crazy if a woman actually hosted a Late Night show? Followed by the next question. Wait, why don’t any women host a Late Night show? This fall we will have Lilly Singh come in as the first female Late Night host since The Late Show Starring Joan Rivers, which dropped hastily dropped Joan as the host. There’s also Samantha Bee doing the lord’s work on her weekly show Full Frontal, and while it doesn’t fall under the same umbrella we can’t just not bring it up.

We are in a comedy golden age that is being helmed by women and Late Night should be reflecting that. Here are our nominees.