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Happy Birthday, Herman Melville! We're grateful you wrote your magnum opus, Moby Dick, because it not only has given us a deeper understanding of man’s struggle with God, but it has provided the inspiration for a lot of cool swag. And call us Ishmael if this swag isn't awesome.

Image by quentincompson49 from Pixabay

Sometimes book summaries are downright lengthy. And who has time for all of that? Like, just give us the necessary details and get on with the actual book.

Hemingway gets it. He's the King of Brevity, the Ruler of Simplicity, the Banisher of Adverbs. His signature terse style is iconic. Instead of hunting lions or seeing a bullfight, which we find to be unethical, we'll have Hemingway do what he does best–give it to us straight. 

July can be a cruel month. You can't walk down the street without sweating through your clothes or sit on your porch without the mosquitoes devouring your flesh like tiny vampires. Sometimes you stare at your sunburn and yearn for the biting cold, cozy sweaters, and fireplaces of Christmas. Still feeling the heatstroke? Hang up some decorations and throw yourself a Christmas in July party. No, we don't mean actually wear sweaters or light fireplaces, but there are other ways to chase the feeling.

1. Send Out Invites

It's impossible to have a party by yourself. Okay, it is possible, but we don't recommend it, unless you have a punch bowl of eggnog for one. The first step is to make a list of friends to invite to your party. You can pull out unused Christmas cards to invite them or you can make a Christmas-themed e-vite or Facebook invite. Be sure to remind your guests to wear antlers and their favorite Christmas t-shirts. If they aren't up for it, are they really your friends? 

2. Decorate Your Place

It's time to go into your attic and closet to pull out your old Christmas decorations. If you want to try something new, many stores like Hallmark have Christmas in July sales for ornaments and other holiday decorations. Once you have all the tinsel and lights you need, decorate your house to look like a winter wonderland. Try not to trap yourself in the attic or you'll be forced to watch old home movies until your family pulls down the ladder and saves you. Remember, it's summer. You'll bake up there.

3. Make a Christmas Playlist

Miss hearing all your favorite Christmas songs? Here's your chance to hear them again. You can make your own playlist with Youtube or other software, or you can leave your music to fate by making a Pandora station for Christmas music.  Be sure to have it playing in the background as your guests arrive for the party. Note: Do not sing Christmas carols to your neighbors. They will not appreciate your enthusiasm for all things festive as much as you do. 

4. Make a Christmas Feast

So maybe you skipped out on ham in favor of chicken this past Christmas. And then afterward, you royally regretted that decision, because who doesn't eat ham on Christmas? Utilize this holiday to recreate what should have been. It's a great opportunity to make all the Christmas dishes you missed out on last year or to revisit your old favorites. We traditionally make turkey, warm rolls, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes. Wait to make the dessert until the guests arrive. Everyone loves making Christmas cookies! Pro tip: to avoid a hot kitchen, skip the oven and have pre-made cookies ready for your guests to decorate. 

5.  Watch Christmas Movies

You know how during the holidays, you always MEAN to watch that classic movie, but there's tinsel to hang and relatives to entertain and appetizers to prepare? Sit down and watch 'em now. Cheesy Christmas movies are a great option, too. Hallmark and Lifetime, anyone? You can also do a combination of the two. No matter what, you have to watch He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special. It is not quite the holidays without Skeletor.

6. Have a Christmas Gift Exchange

Holiday gift exchanges are too exciting to just do once a year. You could have a Secret Santa exchange (we recommend you use online sites for this to save paper and yourself from hassle) or you can do a White Elephant/Yankee Swap. Either way, we definitely recommend that you limit the gifts to under $20. Most people do not budget for Christmas gifts in July. Only the true fanatics do that.

Don’t worry if you forget something or accidentally burn your cookies! You just have to wait until December to try it all again. 

Happy birthday week, E.B. White! While we enjoy your general writing advice, what we really love are your children’s books. In honor of them, we are listing the best anthropomorphic animals in children’s books. We apologize to Stuart Little for not making the cut. As city dwellers, we think he looks too close to a rat for comfort.

Peter Rabbit from The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter

We will say this: Peter Rabbit has the best fashion sense of all the animals. He loves rocking the human threads, and we absolutely adore it. We are completely on his side in the Mr. McGregor conflict. Using his awesome blue jacket to decorate his scarecrow? We say that is pretty messed up. At least Peter has his well-furnished home as consolation. Props for bypassing Ikea for handcrafted furniture.

Winnie-the-Pooh from Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne

We aren’t going to lie; we were really torn between Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger. We picked Pooh because we feel the classic choice is always the correct one. There are definitely some negative aspects to Pooh: he has no brain and a honey addiction. Yet we cannot help but love him. We admire his peaceful attitude and friendly nature. His friendship knows no species boundaries; we think he is a good example on how to be a good friend.

Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

We know the obvious answer might be Wilbur, but we definitely have to go with Charlotte as the best. As people who have been hooked on phonics since we were tiny toddlers, we cannot help but love a spider that knows how to spell. She is also an amazing friend; she saves Wilbur’s life by complimenting him in her cobwebs.  Charlotte, we salute you. You have done wonders for spiders’ PR.  

The Cat in the Hat from The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss

The Cat in the Hat is the best creature to have at your party. He will make sure everyone has a great time, even if it is raining, and he brings his own entourage. As if that were not enough, he can also clean up the party quickly with his quirky clean-up machine. If we did invite him to our party, we would hope he would bring some hats. Those hats would look amazing on Instagram.

Frog and Toad from Frog and Toad Are Friends by Arnold Lobel

We know Frog and Toad are separate people and probably each deserve their own discussion, but they are so inseparable that we have to place them together. Like Peter Rabbit, the two amphibians demonstrate wonderful fashion sense by wearing human clothing. They also offer us an animal example of the Odd Couple. Frog is the relaxed one in the friendship while Toad is way more neurotic. Despite these differences, the two manage to have a beautiful friendship. We think they are a great example of how two different personalities can complement each other.

Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels

Just as Miss Peregrine collects children with unique abilities in her orphanage, the film Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children gathers together actors with a history of playing roles in book film adaptations.

Happy birthday month, Maurice Sendak! We love how Max wears his wolf costume, even if it does inspire him to wreak havoc and get in trouble. In tribute to his sartorial daring, we made a list of five characters who wear costumes on days other than October 31.