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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 1, 2013

QUIRK BOOKS GOES “NORMAL.”

Quirk Books, the independent publisher known for its irreverent reference guides and innovative works of fiction, has gone and done the unexpected once again. Effective immediately, the company is launching a new imprint that will give readers exactly what they expect. Book-lovers of the world, meet Normal Books.

"We think that becoming more conventional is truly the most 'strikingly unconventional' move we could make," says President and Publisher David Borgenicht. "Readers have come to expect the unexpected from us, and I'm pretty sure no one was expecting this."

The Normal Books imprint will offer a completely retooled frontlist of regular, completely straightforward books, with titles including Breakfast for Breakfast, Miss Peregrine's Home for Regular Children, and Pride and Prejudice without Zombies.

This groundbreaking, daringly creative move was engineered with readers in mind, says Associate Publisher and Creative Director Jason Rekulak. "We’re convinced there’s an audience out there that craves the same-old, same-old,” he says. “We're excited to stop pushing the envelope, and start nudging it back into the desk drawer next to the pens and rubber bands." The concept is expected to yield a more manageable workflow as well. “The sales reps have been clamoring for less buzzworthy titles,” notes Moneka Hewlett, Senior Sales Director.

Besides its new catalog of traditional print titles, Normal Books intends to release all subsequent books in eBook format: as plain text with no pictures and in a single small, non-dynamic font. Says Vice President Brett Cohen: "In the digital age, Normal Books will be square in the middle of the pack when it comes to using new, innovative technology. There’s no need to show off."

Below are the titles that Normal Books will be releasing in the coming months:

That’s right: March 2, 1904, is the birthday of Dr. Seuss, a.k.a Theodore Seuss Geisel.

We’re lucky to live in a word that contains The Cat in the Hat, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Horton Hears a Who, and all the other frub-bubbulous books of Dr. Seuss… but have you ever wondered what it would be like in a world in which every book was written by Dr. Seuss? Probably not, because you use your brain for other things.

But in honor of the man who proved that a fox can indeed walk around in socks, we’ve used the Quirk Books Literary Atom-Smasher to bring you these well-known opening lines from a few great works of literature, as Dr. Seuss might have improved them. Enjoy!

from A Tale of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish, and Two Cities
by Dr. Seuss

Best times,
Worst times,
Wise times,
Blurst times.

Blue times,
Light times,
Fool times,
Night times.

These peasants don’t have anything,
Those nobles have their gold and rings.
But look, here comes the guillotine.

What happens at the guillotine?
I don’t know, go ask the king.

—

from Green Eggs and Ham and Ulysses
By Dr. Seuss

-I am Buck.
-Buck I am.
-Stately, plump Buck Mulligan
-Do you like green eggs and ham?
-Tell me something, Mulligan,

-Won’t you make Haines go away?
–Introibo ad altare Dei.
-I do not like green eggs and ham,
-I do not like them, Mulligan.

-I will not eat them while you shave,
-I will not eat them in a cave.
-I will not eat them when it rains
-I will not eat them with that Haines
-I will not eat them in a shed
-And by the way, my mom’s still dead.

—

from Oh, The Places Moby Dick Will Go, or Horton Hears A Whale
by Dr. Seuss

A long time ago in a New England town,
Horton the Elephant wandered around.
His mood went from glum to gloomy to worse,
He hadn’t a single coin left in his purse.
He thought that the only solution would be
To take a long voyage out on the sea.
When all of the sudden he heard a small cry
From a speck of dust spiraling down from the sky.
“How odd,” Horton said, “But I’ll answer that call,”
“A person’s a person, no matter how small.”
“Who are you?” he asked it, “And where do you dwell?”
And then a voice said, “Call me Ishmael.”

—

from The Moof-Merkulous Metamorphosis of Bartholomew Cubbins
By Dr. Seuss

The sun has come up
But this man’s still in bed
It seems that he barely
Can lift up his head.

He tries to roll over
And onto the rug
But finds out he’s somehow
Turned into a bug.

“I’m a roach,” moans the man
“Somehow I’ve have changed.
The parts of my body
are all rearranged!”

“My legs are all wiggly,
And six is too many.
My head is now topped with
Long, pointy antennae.”

“I look like a cockroach!
I feel like a jerk!
And the worst thing of all is
I’ll be late for work!”

He’s not supposed to rise from the sunken city of R’lyeh until the stars are properly aligned. But ever since “Call of Cthulhu” debuted in Weird Tales magazine 85 years ago this month, Lovecraft’s famous horror icon has certainly kept his tentacled face in the public eye. Trying to catalog all of the Dread One’s appearances would likely destroy your soul and your sanity. But in honor of his 85 years of literate existence, here are ten notable sightings of Cthulhu and his fellow things-that-should-not-exist.