Are You a Poe Dameron or an Edgar Allan Poe?
Space image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay and blackbird photo by Valentin Petkov on Unsplash.
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…Edgar Allan Poe was born. On January 19, 1803, if we’re being precise. And even though he only lived to be 40 years old, he left behind a lifetime of Gothic short stories, poetry, and essays. Even longer ago, Poe Dameron was born to defeat the First Order. He’s a fierce X-Wing fighter with a soft spot for droids. Two very different men, both named Poe. To celebrate Edgar Allan Poe’s birthday and the release of The Last Jedi – no spoilers, we promise – we’ve concocted a quiz that would make both Poes proud. So, are you a Poe Dameron or an Edgar Allan Poe? There’s only one way to find out.
Having trouble with the interactive quiz above? Take the text-based quiz:
You’re at party where the only person you know is the host. How do you survive?
a. Hang out with the host’s droid – ahem! – dog.
b. Take advantage of the free alcohol.
c. Make friends with a stranger and protect them from creepy advances.
d. Huddled in a corner. You’re dreading any and all personal questions.
e. Take over the hosting duties yourself. Your friend clearly doesn’t know how to put together crudité.
f. Command the room with your storytelling.
It’s a Friday night and you don’t have plans. How do you plan to spend the evening?
a. A quiet night in with your pets.
b. Drinking into a stupor and then writing some really dark stream of conscious poetry.
c. At a comedy club across town. You need to take two buses and a Lyft to get there, but your friend’s improv team is performing and you promised you’d be there.
d. At home writing love letters to your cousin – ahem! – best friend.
e. Staging an elaborate coop against your worst enemy.
f. Making final edits on your manuscript. Your fans need you!
You’re at work with a laundry list of tasks to accomplish for the day. What’s your strategy?
a. Check in with HR one more time to see if they’d be open to getting an office dog. It would do wonders lowering everyone’s stress level.
b. Slip some whiskey into your coffee. It won’t make you better at your job, but you have a reputation to maintain.
c. Come up with a plan of action and then check in with your best work friend to see if they’re doing okay. If you’re having a hellish day, chances are they are too.
d. Write a love letter to your dearly departed partner and contemplate leaving your job to pursue your true passion: death-centric creative endeavors.
e. Refuse to do the work assigned and instead come up with a five-year plan for the company. It doesn’t matter that there are seven levels of management above you. This place needs a shakeup.
f. Do whatever will please the powers that be, even if it means staying late and coming in early the next morning.
Your best friend wants to hang out this weekend. What do you suggest the two of you do?
a. Hang out in the park with your dogs. Maybe have a picnic, if the weather’s nice.
b. An epic pub crawl to every brewery in your city.
c. A movie marathon and homemade pizza. Between movies, you’ll take turns editing each other’s dating profile.
d. What best friend?
e. A long day of remote control airplanes and daydreams about enrolling in flight training.
f. Whatever they want to do. You’re flexible.
Describe your perfect day.
a. Dressed head to toe in your favorite outfit while snuggling on the couch with your pet.
b. Stoking the fire on a grudge you’ve held for several years.
c. Wandering your city and talking to strangers. You never know who your next best friend will be.
d. Writing from dawn ‘til dusk with no other obligations to tend to.
e. In direct opposition of everything anyone tells you to do.
f. Entertaining the masses with your anonymous fanfic.
{Results}
{Mostly As generates the following}
Poe Dameron, BB-8 Enthusiast
What can we say? Poe Dameron loves that droid. They’ve saved each other’s lives countless times and it’s clear they’re the best of friends. While we can’t promise you a BB-8 of your own – don’t think we didn’t try – we do hope you’re minutes away from snuggling with man’s best friend. (Best friend on Earth, that is.) Come here, boy.
{Mostly Bs generates the following}
Edgar Allan Poe, Belligerent Drunkard
After Edgar Allan Poe’s death, longtime rival Rufus Wilmot Griswold wrote a scathing biographical article of Poe’s life, portraying him as an alcoholic and a depraved madman. The article was written to ruin Poe’s reputation, but it had the opposite effect. Readers flocked to Edgar Allan Poe’s work, thrilled by the thought of reading the work of an evil man. It’s an image that survives today, despite its blatant disregard for the truth. But you’re most like this defamed caricature, so it’s possible you’re not a Poe at all. You’re a Griswold.
{Mostly Cs generates the following}
Poe Dameron, Protector
Poe Dameron is responsible for recruiting (and naming) former Stormtrooper Finn to the Resistance and the two have been inseparable ever since. Well, there was that one time when Finn went off to Jakku alone, with Poe’s jacket and droid no less, and found a scavenger named Rey who may or may not have the force. But other than that, they’re totally inseparable. Best friends forever. You have a lot in common with this aspect of Poe Dameron. You’re a fiercely loyal friend who’s always looking for new ways to express that loyalty. Your friends count themselves lucky to have you – even when you’re being annoying.
{Mostly Ds generates the following}
Edgar Allan Poe, Grieving Poet
When Edgar Allan Poe was 26, he married his 13-year-old cousin, Virginia Clemm. It’s an awful arrangement to think about in today’s context; she was both underage and related to him. Biographers have been unable to get a complete grasp on their relationship. Some have written that the union was loving, while others report that the two treated each other like brother and sister. Virginia died of tuberculosis at 24, just two years after “The Raven” was published. Her death certainly influenced Poe’s writing and, it seems, your personality as well.
{Mostly Es would generate the following}
Poe Dameron, Defiant Commander
When the destruction of the First Order is on the line, obeying orders from General Leia Organa isn’t always the number one priority. (What can we say – he’s stubborn.) Plus, he’s very possessive – of his jacket, his droid, his Commander status. When entire planets are being destroyed by the first order and Stormtroopers are deflecting to the Resistance, it’s a lot to keep track of. Those creature comforts are important when they’re everything he has. We get that. If you’re anything like this facet of Poe Dameron, you pride yourself on being Rebel Scum. Rules are just a pesky set of orders designed to get in your way.
{Mostly Fs would generate the following}
Edgar Allan Poe, Gothic Populist
Most of Edgar Allan Poe’s stories are in the Gothic style because that’s what was popular at the time. He wanted to please the masses, offering up writing that was simultaneously scary and thought provoking. He loved to write about death and all that came with it – decomposition, the fear of premature burial, mourning, you name it. His writing sat firmly in the dark romanticism camp – a direct opposition to the transcendental writing that Poe hated. So, while Poe was writing for the widest possible audience, he was also writing in a genre that peaked his creative interest. Like Poe, you find joy in pleasing others. But that doesn’t mean you’re not having fun.
